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CK3 “All Under Heaven” DLC: Wah, Paradox Finally Give Us China! But Will It Be Michelin Star or Just Another Cha Chaan Teng Microwave Job?

Mandate of Heaven, Shoguns, and Viking Babies—What Can You Learn Before This DLC Breaks Your PC (and Your Spirit)?

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Oi, Pok Gai Gamers! Paradox finally open the floodgates with CK3’s “All Under Heaven” DLC coming Q4 2025. This time, the map is so chonky even your PoPo’s mahjong table can’t fit it—China, Korea, Japan, Southeast Asia, whole buffet, la! You want to flex as Hegemon, tax Silk Road traders until they cry, or build the Great Wall with your dai ga jeh? All here, and probably more buggy than Mong Kok MTR during rush hour. But first ad time:

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You think you ready for Mandate of Heaven? Bro, this system is more high maintenance than your ex. You gotta expand, flex, and pray your vassals don’t yeet you off the throne the second you blink. Paradox even add God-King mechanics, capital temples, and Great Projects—so you and your useless vassals can fight over who gets credit for building Angkor Wat, while natural disasters come and slap your face like your mom when you get F in math.

But let’s be real, the true apocalypse is coming from the meme lords. You know Koifish already plotting some cursed timeline where Jarl Haesteinn and his son Ragnar paddle their IKEA longboat from Brittany, smash through Eurasia, and become Emperor of China before you even finish loading the game. Next thing you know, Forbidden City filled with Swedish meatballs and Viking babies running the Imperial Exams. If you see a Scandinavian with the Mandate of Heaven, just alt+F4 and go yum cha, la.

Now, what can all you Pok Gai, wannabe game devs, marketers, influencers, and even those suit-wearing investors actually learn from this DLC? Besides how to crash your game faster than your dad’s Windows 98, obviously.

What Can You Learn, Ah?

Gamers:

  • Prepare for chaos, lag, and memes. Every run is wild—maybe your emperor is a Viking baby, maybe your dynasty tree is more cursed than your family WhatsApp group.

  • New systems mean you actually need to use your brain, not just AFK and hope your dynasty don’t implode.

Game Designers:

  • Paradox show you how to add real Asian flavor without making it taste like boiled chicken breast. Localized mechanics, emergent disasters, and collaborative projects—take notes, la.

  • If a Viking baby can be Son of Heaven, maybe your balance need a bit more MSG.

Game Marketers:

  • This DLC is the biggest flex yet—massive map, Asian drip, historical bookmarks. Spam those trailers, collab with meme streamers, and pray the servers don’t die on launch.

  • Sell the culture, sell the chaos, sell the dream of finally being able to roleplay your PoPo’s dynasty.

Influencers:

  • Bro, this is content gold. Viking Emperor of China, Mandate speedruns, disaster memes—your streams and YouTube gonna blow up (or crash, depending on Paradox’s QA).

  • Get early access, milk those dev diaries, and make sure your chat knows how to say “yeet” in Cantonese.

Investors:

  • Paradox not playing—this DLC could open up the whole Asia market. Long-term support, big hype, big potential.

  • But if they don’t fix the bugs, your stock gonna drop faster than your cousin’s crypto. Buy popcorn, not just shares, la.

So what you waiting for? Smash that subscribe button on the Pok Gai Gamer newsletter, la! Don’t be a siu kei—get all the real talk, toxic takes, and dank memes straight to your inbox.
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Pok Gai Gamer—where we conquer Asia with Viking babies, meme harder than Koifish, and crash more games than your dad’s pirated Windows XP. Subscribe la, or you’ll miss out harder than Koifish’s heirs miss the point of succession!