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Oi, Pok Gai Gamers! If you thought dating sims were just about romancing cute anime characters or your crush from work, think again. Date Everything! is like the game that woke up one day and said, “Why not let you date literally everything in your house?” And yes, that means your friggin’ toaster, shower, or even your existential dread can get into the dating game. Imagine that, you don’t have to suffer actual humans if you don’t want to. But first help Pok Gai Gamer pay his bills, and check out today’s sponsor:

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Your character gets a pair of magic "Dateviator" glasses that make all the random junk in your home come alive and talk to you like they’re your new crushes. You get to chat, flirt, and make friends—or enemies—out of 100 totally different objects and concepts. Don’t expect to juggle them all at once though: you’re limited to five daily dates, so choose wisely unless you want to get hated by your own curtains.

And if you’re good at the game? You can “Realize” your favorite object, which means—surprise!—it turns into a human. So you could wake up married to your shower who secretly wants to be Elvis Presley. Yeah, 2025 is wild.

The characters are funny, weird, and fully voice acted. You got a smoke alarm with anxiety issues, a towel with attitude, and a fridge that might actually judge your life choices. The dialogue is filled with sarcasm and jokes, making it a total blast to play—even if you’re just here to mess around dating your houseplants.

It’s a perfect game if you’re a Pok Gai Gamer who loves sarcasm, chaos, and refuses to deal with real human drama. Available on Switch, PC, PS5, and Xbox Series X/S, so no excuses lah.

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