Total War’s Lost Glory: Where’s My Empire 2, Dog-Eating General, and Real History, Lah?

Wah, Total War’s Historical Side Gone Missing—CA Only Knows How to Sell Orcs!

Oi, Pok Gai Gamers, remember when Total War was about conquering Rome, uniting Japan, or blasting cannonballs in Empire? Now all we get is Warhammer, Warhammer, and more Warhammer. CA’s historical team? Disappeared faster than my lai see money after Chinese New Year. You want real history? Too bad, bro—unless your general got pointy ears or breathes fire, CA not interested.

Boshin War: Last Time CA Actually Did Something Right

Let’s be fair—CA did give us Fall of the Samurai and the Boshin War, and that was a masterpiece, lah! Samurai charging Gatling guns, ironclad ships, and the whole modernization drama. That campaign was so good, even my grandma started yelling “Meiji Restoration!” at dinner. But after that? Nothin’ but elves, orcs, and DLCs until your wallet cry for mercy. CA, you had the formula—why you throw it in the rubbish bin?

Where’s My Total War: China? I Want Warlord Era, Dog-Eating General, and DLCs Until My Wallet Explodes!

If CA ever wakes up and makes Total War: China, you KNOW they’ll go full DLC gacha mode:

• Dog-Eating General Pack: Play as Zhang Zongchang, the OG “Dog-Eating General.” Special “Dog Meat Banquet” event for morale boost, exclusive hat, and a voice pack that swears at your enemies in Shandong dialect.

• Warlord’s Waifu Collection: Gacha for legendary female strategists. Each waifu gives buffs, but also triggers jealousy drama. CA needs those whales, mah!

• Foreign Devils Invasion: Play as Russian, Japanese, or Western gun-runners. New tech tree: “Opium Diplomacy.” Unlock “Unfair Treaty” mechanic—lose half your provinces with one click!

• Bandit King Expansion: Be the Bandit King of Shandong. Rob trains, raid cities, and get hunted by every other warlord. “Robin Hood” skin included.

• Taiping Rebellion Campaign: Lead the Heavenly Kingdom, convert peasants, spam “Divine Thunder” artillery. New religious mechanics and “Heavenly Haircut” cosmetic pack.

If you think this is too much, just look at Warhammer—more DLC than I have aunties in Richmond. CA, if you want my money, at least give me some real history, not just another reskinned goblin.

Why Not More Eras? I Want Everything—China, Japan, Europe, North America!

Why always stuck in Three Kingdoms? China got so many eras—Warring States, Song, Ming, Qing, Taiping Rebellion, Warlord Era. Japan? You already smashed it with Boshin War in Fall of the Samurai—do it again with Satsuma Rebellion or Meiji drama! Europe? Where’s my Empire 2? I want to sail the seven seas, shoot cannon at British, French, everyone! North America? Give me Wild West Total War, I want to yeehaw and lasso some AI bug, lah.

What Everyone Can Learn from This Pok Gai Situation

Gamers:
Stop just typing “I miss history” on Reddit—buy the games, support the devs, or next time all you get is “Total War: Angry Birds Edition.”

Game Designers:
Don’t water down your games. We want real depth, not baby mode. Give us betrayal, real diplomacy, and mechanics that make us feel smart—not just click and win.

UI/UX Designers:
Make it easy to use, but don’t dumb it down until my 6-year-old cousin can win on Legendary. Give us depth with clarity, not just big buttons and empty menus.

Influencers:
Stop chasing the latest trend. Use your voice to hype up real history, mods, and what the community actually wants—not just what gets the most Twitch subs.

Marketers:
Don’t treat us like idiots. We know when you’re just selling hype. Respect the history crowd, and you’ll get loyalty, not just one-off sales.

Investors:
Don’t put all your eggs in the fantasy basket. History fans might be picky, but when you get it right, we’ll throw money at you like we’re making it rain at karaoke.

The Road Ahead

The Boshin War’s success in Fall of the Samurai proved there’s a market for complex, transitional eras. Fans are hungry for more: the Warlord Era in China, a true Empire 2, and fresh takes on underexplored periods. When history is done right, it’s not just educational—it’s unforgettable.

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